Do You Remember?

 

Do You Remember?

There's the daisy: white petals

And a plush yellow center

And so we begin

Our anxious interrogation                    

                    Gregory Orr

                    Concerning the Book That Is The Body of the Beloved

It was one thing to pluck

every petal out of the yellow yolk

of the daisy's eye, the game

went this way and that and if you weren't right

bored with yourself you'd give in

and try: try not to tear the petal in

half so part's pinched in your finger

and thumb and part's still

stuck on living.  All those skedaddled

loves and loves not are limp

and some come under the boot

and some are clung to the elbow

or center of your chest where else

would they lay finally and forever

abandoned.  the least

favorite part of the game was thumbing

up under the coveted

center of the yell-

ow eye and letting as much

of its entirety fall into the palm

of your hand trying

not to listen to it tear away.  It was glistening

with its own coming undone and all 

the little bits some scattered some in a clump

were being judged.  Hold yourself completely

flat.  Steady.  Then

Blow.

Blow hard.  One two three because your life

will never be

the same however many remained.  The count

some days eight some days none but most

days too many to want to count

at all meant that was how many kids

you'd have whether he loved you

whether he didn't love you whether

the petal that tore in 

half was if you didn't cheat the last

he does he does not and you wished

it didn't mean anything didn't mean

he'd be dead that summer or the next or just up

and gone for good and the yolky

stain he thumbed inside

of you starting to dry because he said it would he

promised as the petals scattered some

some on the belt buckle some 

on the zipper lifting when the breeze

if the breeze comes up.

Are You Sure You Want To Do This/There Are Unimaginable Risks/Involved

 

Are you Sure You Want

To Do This

There Are Unimaginable  Risks

Involved

What is the name

of the deep breath I would take

over and over

for all of us?  Call it

                                        Mary Oliver

                                        Sunrise

I like how she says prayer

is a daring

thing because it is it does

take risk listen you have to 

go out

into the world jonesing

for a smoke

patting all your empty

pockets in disguise

and not a one

not even a light

and it's hey pal can you spare

and maybe they're some

stranger and it's been a long 

long walk and wait to have to

go and go and then come up empty

while she eyes you and takes you

every thread and hair

and neat or loose tie of you

and she shakes

one out and strikes

a match

and she glows don't miss it

she glows before you even

inhale she glows

like God she glows like God

before she goes out to leave you

on your own

Preponderance: Dressing Room

 

Preponderance:  Dressing

Room

Are not the difficult labors of our lives

        full of dark hours?

                                            Mary Oliver

you've already tried

your face on, the one 

you're going

to wear tomorrow 

to walk out into

the world with 

depending on

who wins this

particular con-

test.  Or really, 

you've already tried

both of them on,

to see which fit

is and which fit

isn't, although 

it will be

hours and hours

maybe days

and days.  But

who's counting.

When the truth

of it comes in

you'll celebrate

or mourn.

and even

then the results

it will have

to be settled

from the benches

of nine black

ominous birds

crusted, some

with justice, some

with offal of 

their robed

then flown now

known open-faced 

predecessors. 

Tree, and Trunk, and Stump

Tree: 
Her Trunk, Her Stump

Stationed the way she is and taking on

time like it's tipped to the side, see how
the water slides by her, pulled by time
and tide in the wide eyed glide of the quiet

and pacifying night?  Eyes, see: they are: tree,

finally deleafed, having been seized
from the up-river come undone liquid frieze; 

see: the thick then thin cartography received 

beneath a once fizzy August heat, now a greeting

gummed on the trunk, limbs quit, and dead 

up the stump, like some lumberjack chopping 

to audition a Jesus tree, and in a meeting sees
the squeeze and releases the whole scene
swing by swing by swing, whetting the head
of the ax every ten connections.  It's his particular

routine.  And even though I’m the only one seeing

that ease, the tree’s definitely been a long-time
free of her roots and kin and maybe
months and maybe years ago.  She holds only
to the dried mud and rush (if the man who owns

the dam water rights is watching the jet
stream spots it).  Like she's stationed here
briefly, detritus freeze, and plugged, and has no 

needs, just this pause and pause through brutal
afternoons and early season frosts, all

that water washing her, letting her go.  Today,
with things being as they are, she's stuck
longer than she might have been, and her
calm and haunting top coming to be her copy
against the river water,  she is two gazes:

not Janus exactly, see the one face is not
solid at all but still it is caught, it is the same

as if it is severing itself on the water, taunting

a want from me to be both as secretive, as trans-
parent:  my daughter watches as I crawl

unceremoniously down the mud-gucked bank

to get in on the right edges for the perfect
angle.  I hold my camera above my head
as if I were going to cross the whole river
and slip slideways trying for the right

frame.  I’m as stuck at one point as the dead

tree eyeing me: I see some of what I need to keep me
standing and take it with me in my hand,
grab the grass without looking back.  I didn’t fall

this time, but when I’m home and the image

grows slow as a Polaroid, I see a sunk

thing, finally coming up, and it’s not

the tree or trunk or sawn-off gawk

of the heartwood.  I see an owl, don’t you? wide-

eyed?  And I’m prey too, I know I am, coming

undone, coming to an end that is always

ending, or beginning that is always beginning,
distant and reflective as this body of water,
insisting, insisting, my limited shifting: who?
who?  This way a saw-whet, this way a barred,

closer, come, a horned.  Though if I incorporate 

the limbs, and if, like you see deer, the rack 

is an aged buck.  Still, in the end, it's the sweep 

of wings, feather or bone, once
winter is on, seem tipped sideways in flight,

alight on the snow of its own self, holding,
holding.

Morning: Three Days Before Christmas

Morning: Three Days Before Christmas

The stars know everything,

So we try to read their minds.

As distant as they are,

We choose to whisper in their presence.

                                                Charles Simic

                                                Autumn Sky

But in our sky dear Charles three days

before Christmas morning there’s a thumb

nail moon just rising some above 

the pines or if you wish a curvaceous

hip and dimple grin slipping up from the river

and getting thinner (the moon not

the river) and here she seems shallow

or take away that h and the meaning

shifts some though it depends on the hue

of your mood.  But consider this: the glass

is that rippled and stumped glass that 

old homes have.  And so too my friend 

is the at-mosphere and too so is the film on

my lenses, smudged from tongues

of steam and grease from when we opened

doors receiving us as guests come in

from the cold come in from the brief

or long road narrow enough this time

of year that those oncoming either

yield or we do and because we both

want to be seen as courteous and in

good cheer we each of us pull toward

the bank and hear the tires ask what?

and keep their grip anyway and we take

nothing that doesn’t belong to us

as what is going to pass us by passes us

by and we nod our gratitude in exhaust

pipe condensation and hold our cough

and squeeze and a brief glimpse of that

little slip of the naked moon between

our teeth before she goes missing behind

the stovepipes and chimneys, their billowing

smoke holding out only for the moment

we make for it thinking we must be some-

thing like a genius to see the universe

so briefly before we get back to the mundane

and practicality of the where to put one’s foot 

carefully on the broad pond of ice the parking 

lot, waving off that moon and her sky coming

in and out of light.

An Eth(i)c of Cons(c)ent

 

 

An Eth(i)c of Cons(c)ent

after the trod and demolish 

watch the fog fall how it has

fallen seed creamy leaf

caught buoy/rock stiff knot

of a fist instead it's neck stretch

thin skin alms: esophagus 

the lips of this particular con-

juring of water to take me in-

stead make me! make me! 

naked awake in miniature 

areola knee and each teethed

with pleading before it all 

heats the rivet of another 

tongs and dolly and hot

cauldron of another dawn