On Second Chances

beneath, a leaf
old mill door
greenville, nh

On Second Chances

You’re shivering, O my memory.

You went out early without a coat.

                                                                Charles Simic

                                                                The Immortal

I’m beginning to like you and because I didn’t

at first and that was long ago when I cut you

off I thought I’m older now I can give you

a second chance I mean it’s not like we know

each other it’s not

like you would have liked me even if we did but at first I was

reading you because you were the only one

there and I was unpacking everything I’d thought
I'd have you in the bag

to save and somehow I must’ve begun to relate to
the skinny spine selection I got
from a friend or a for a bargain

and I’ve looked at over the years

though like all second chances (and hear I want

to interrupt myself by saying baby if I’d let you

touch my neck with your finger and maybe move you
to open your mouth if I felt

the wet pressure of your teeth

beneath the place where it throbs the most when

I’m thrilled (which isn’t to say, don’t mistake

me, unafraid) I may be

a completely different woman today Jesus

where were you

when I needed you where was I god

damn it when I needed you? And what’s left

to be said of second second chances other than

some people bow their heads to them

like they’re lions come stalking in the tall grass
and some people

take them by the genitals like they’re

the future and begin pumping

the life out of them.